


love and fear (rome, italy, 2019)

by goorgoahead



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: M/M, PDA, barely it's more like lack of PDA, basically it's just an examination of nico and marti's relationship, but it's not graphic, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23665546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goorgoahead/pseuds/goorgoahead
Summary: a look at marti and nico's relationship from the pov of others.
Relationships: Filippo Sava & Martino Rametta, Giovanni Garau & Martino Rametta, Luca Colosio & Martino Rametta, Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. i. giovanni

**Author's Note:**

> mainly set around the first party where those guys harass martino and the second party where the fight happens.
> 
> i'm always curious about nico and marti's relationship because, out of all the evaks, they have been the most careful with pda, like, for good reason. i wanted to take a closer look at that.
> 
> the title says 2019 because that's when it's set and that's when i started writing it.

giovanni is martino’s best friend. he’s always been closer to martino than anybody else, save his mother. and now niccolò, of course. giovanni is so unbelievably happy for martino; he’s so glad that martino isn’t suffering anymore, and that he can finally be himself now. he’s glad that niccolò could do that for him; he could never begrudge him that closeness with martino.

martino was never really one for public displays of affection. even in his friendships, he was never really a fan of it. giovanni put it down to the fact that he was distancing himself from everyone while he was closeted, and assumed that when he came out and started dating niccolò that everything would change. he and niccolò were sickeningly in love, that much was obvious, and giovanni was too damn happy for martino to be bothered by it. so, yeah, he assumed that martino and niccolò would be the type of couple to be all over each other, all the time, even in public.

but they weren’t.

apart from that one time in the bar, giovanni doesn’t think he’s ever seen them share a kiss outside their own apartments or at one of their friend’s places. at first, giovanni didn’t really think much of it, but as time went on, he found himself noticing it more and more.

they were standing outside of school, the afternoon before edoardo and his friend’s fundraiser. niccolò was going back to his apartment to get ready for the party and giovanni was going over to martino’s to do the same. as they bid each other goodbye, giovanni expected a goodbye kiss to pass between them, similar to the one he himself had shared with sofi only minutes beforehand, but they went their separate ways without even so much as a hug. 

“is everything alright with you and nico?” giovanni had asked martino as they walked in the opposite direction, away from niccolò.

“yeah, man. why?” is all martino had said in response.

suddenly, giovanni felt awkward having brought it up. it wasn’t really his business, despite martino being his best friend.

“no reason, just- you didn’t… kiss him goodbye. i thought maybe something had happened.”

martino was silent for a second, eyebrows furrowed, before replying.

“we never do though,” he said simply, as if this was the most obvious answer in the world.

“yeah, i just noticed that today,” giovanni said, “it’s a bit weird.”

“weird that we didn’t kiss goodbye or weird that you never noticed?” martino asked, distractedly. clearly he didn’t think it was strange in the slightest and wasn’t taking giovanni seriously.

“both, i guess,” giovanni said, and left it at that.

-

later, at edoardo’s party, everyone was having a good time. drink was flowing freely and everyone was dancing. they were surrounded by friends and the music was loud. giovanni was dancing with sofi and even martino and niccolò were up dancing, not breaking eye contact as they jumped up and down to the beat of the music, close in each other’s personal space. giovanni was trying to distract himself from looking over at eva, who appeared to be flirting with some guys that he didn’t recognize at the bar. 

they boys were taking a break from dancing when eleonora came up to them. giovanni didn’t hear what she said as she leaned up to whisper into martino’s ear, but, to be honest, he wasn’t really paying attention. luchino was dancing over near silvia, trying to get her attention with his ridiculous dance moves, and he and elia were having too much fun laughing at him. when martino disappeared over to the bar, presumably to get more drinks, giovanni barely spared him a second glance.

it’s only because he was starting to lose interest in luca’s hopeless dancing and was tuning out slightly that he even heard it at all.

“…faggot…”

hearing that word was enough to make giovanni turn on his heel, immediately trying to seek martino out in the crowd. he didn’t have too look far. martino was over by the bar, the guys eva had been talking to before now right up in his face.

the rest is a blur. him and elia are over in a flash, pushing the guys as far away from martino as possible. everyone is shouting. thankfully, edoardo and his friends escort (read: drag) the guys out of the club before a real fight could start. giovanni and elia are the ones up in martino’s face now, checking to see if he’s okay. martino brushes them off, saying he’s fine, but he’s clearly very shaken, eyes scanning the crowd, obviously looking for niccolò.

giovanni is also extremely shaken, but he tries to be brave for martino, cracking jokes and laughing, but his smiles are watery. martino remains distracted until niccolò comes into view, sofi in tow. martino doesn’t reach out to niccolò, even though he looks like there’s nothing he wants to do more in this moment. instead, niccolò leads martino out into a quiet hallway, leaving giovanni alone with elia and sofi; luca still nowhere to be found. sofi tells him that she’s going home with her friends, and leaves him with a kiss on the cheek. 

the spot where she kissed burns.

he’s so overwhelmed. he can’t remember feeling this many things all at once. fear and relief, both in equal measures. but most of all, he feels angry. he feels anger like he’s never felt before in his life. the type of anger that leaves the coppery taste of blood in his mouth. he’s angry that something like this happened. angry at the resigned look that had been on martino’s face during the whole encounter, like he knew something this was bound to happen. angry because martino was right to think that, especially in italy. angry that the type of kiss sofi just gave him would have put martino in actual danger. angry that martino, his martino, his sweet, kind, grandfather-shirt-wearing martino, will have to deal with things like this for the rest of his life. him and niccolò both. it makes giovanni feel physically sick.

and, god, poor niccolò. giovanni has never seen the guy look so scared in all the time that he’s known him. he had been putting on a brave face for martino, but it was a shaky facade. giovanni has a feeling that when niccolò gets home, all of his emotions will come pouring out; private tears he probably won’t let martino see, lest he freak him out more. giovanni thinks he might be joining niccolò in that tonight too.

surprisingly, though, he’s least worried about martino. of course, he was worried for his safety, but now that the immediate threat is gone, giovanni knows that martino will be fine, in the end.

martino is the strongest person he knows.


	2. ii. luca

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luca may be dumb, but he's not stupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love love love luca. and i love the idea that him and nico would be good friends.
> 
> quick update. i have two more chapters after this, just finishing up the fourth one and then it'll be done.

when martino came out of the closet, luca wasn’t really surprised. of course, he had no idea that martino was gay; but luca always feels like he’s a couple steps behind the other guys in the group, so finding out that martino had been hiding this big secret didn’t really surprise him.

meeting niccolò had been a nice treat. he was so happy to help martino draft the text to him in bracciano, so when they finally met him the next morning, luca was practically vibrating with excitement. giovanni and elia had been busy eyeing niccolò up during breakfast so luca got to chat with him to his heart’s content. 

as the months went on, luca and niccolò became fast friends. giovanni and elia were friends with him too but that was because he’s martino’s boyfriend. luca is friends with niccolò because niccolò is cool, and he doesn’t treat luca like he’s an idiot. the other boys don’t do it on purpose but sometimes they make him feel like he’s stupid, like he’s a kid or something. niccolò never makes him feel like that. he always listens to luca’s ideas and never tells him to shut up when he contributes to a conversation.

luca thinks that niccolò and martino act like his parents act; they’re not very affectionate in public, either. once, when he was younger, luca asked his mamma why she never held papa’s hand out and about, like other couples do. his mamma had just said that they had nothing to prove, and they held hands because they loved each other, not to show other people that they did. luca supposed that this was the case with martino and niccolò. there was no question that they loved each other. sometimes when the boys went out to a party without niccolò, martino gets drunk and starts waxing poetic about niccolò and his beautiful eyes or whatever, and, when he’s very very drunk, his abs.

luca thinks it’s sweet. he may not be the most observant of his friends, but even he could see how unhappy martino had been up to a couple of months ago. he’s glad that niccolò is in their lives now.

-

when luca heard what happened at edoardo’s party (he had been preoccupied with trying to impress sylvia), he just couldn’t believe it. of course, he’s not dumb; he’d heard all about homophobia and stuff from martino’s friend, filippo, but he never could have imagined anything like that happening to martino and niccolò. when luca checked on him the next day, martino had seemed okay, though, so he tried to put it out of his mind. martino and niccolò were fine so he didn’t need to worry. besides, giovanni was doing enough worrying for everyone else combined, so he didn’t feel too bad.

-

at the next party, everything comes to a head. luca is dancing over near silvia (again), when he sees elia come inside. him, martino and giovanni had gone outside for a smoke a little while ago. luca is about to call out for him when he sees elia head straight over to where fede canegallo is dancing with eva. he speaks to him for about half a second, before fede is calling over edoardo and chicco rodi and the four of them head back outside.

eva rushes over to the rest of the girls, and luca hears her say something about a fight before they all run outside to see what had happened. when the girls reach the door of the building, luca hears eva say something about martino and giovanni. this makes luca panic. martino and giovanni don’t get into fights, and they definitely don’t fist fight. the only time he’d heard of either of them getting in any sort of altercation was a couple of weeks ago, with those guys in the club.

luca’s blood runs cold now. the only reason giovanni would ever get in a fight would be to protect his friends. luca starts running out to the courtyard, in the direction of where the girls had gone. his mind was working a mile a minute. surely nobody here would have a problem with martino; luca is pretty sure most of the people here go to school with them anyway, and even if they don’t, niccolò isn’t even here tonight, so anyone that doesn’t know them wouldn’t know that martino is even gay in the first place. maybe he’s over thinking this. maybe this has nothing to do with martino. luca hopes not. something tells him he’s wrong, though.

he finally reaches the fight. elia is squaring his shoulders up against some guy and edoardo, fede and chicco rodi have thrown themselves into the fight that’s starting to take shape. giovanni is with martino at the outskirts of the fight. giovanni has his hands on martino’s face, shaking him.

“let me see!” giovanni is shouting, but martino is trying to pull away.

“i’m fine, i’m fine!” 

when giovanni catches sight of luca, he pushes martino towards him, shouting at him to take him away from the fight, before throwing himself back into the fray. he starts shouting threats at one of the guys in the middle of the fight. luca has to drag his eyes away from the fight, that is steadily growing more and more out of hand, to check on martino. his nose is bleeding onto his shirt, effectively ruining it, and his eyes look panicked, but, other than that, he looks relatively unharmed.

he leads martino into the bathroom go the club, and cleans him up. he uses ice from a bucket he found at the bar for martino’s nose, to try and stop any swelling. 

they don’t talk much. 

well, that is to say; martino doesn’t talk much. luca, on the other hand, spent the whole time rambling on about absolutely nothing. he tells himself that it’s to calm martino down, get him to focus on something else, but, really, it’s himself that he’s trying to calm. luca doesn’t like violence. it makes him feel queasy on a good day. and right now, he feels just about ready to pass out. it’s not really the blood or anything, but more the thought of someone wanting to hurt martino. but the blood’s not helping either.

the look on martino’s face is worse than anything that luca could be feeling, though. he wouldn’t meet luca’s eyes the whole time he was patching him up. there’s dark circles under his eyes, and luca isn’t sure if they’re from the panic and exhaustion or the punch he took to the nose. when giovanni and elia come in a few minutes later (or possibly hours, luca can’t tell), martino hops up to inspect them both. when he deems them both uninjured, he punches giovanni in his arm. martino looks genuinely angry. the last time luca saw him look like that was when they had all tried to get into covitti’s party.

martino storms out after that.

luca doesn’t really understand quite why martino is so angry, but elia looks properly chastised and giovanni looks downright ashamed. but neither of them see fit to explain it to him, and luca doesn’t bother to ask, so they walk home in silence. apparently, eleonora rang her brother to take her and martino home. luca can’t help but think that maybe they should have brought him home instead, but he supposes that martino probably wasn’t in the mood to take the bus.

luca tries not to think too much on the bus ride home but he can’t stop his mind from wandering. he keeps thinking of niccolò’s face when he finds out what happened to martino. luca hates the thought of niccolò being upset. he bets that martino is thinking about the exact same thing right at this very moment. luca’s mind then moves on to martino’s mamma. martino will probably try to hide what happened from her, but it’s only a matter of time before she sees his face. thinking about that makes him feel sick as well, so he tries to focus on the streetlights. giovanni hasn’t said anything since the bathroom, and this time, luca doesn’t want to break the silence. this seems to put elia on edge.

elia’s hands won’t stop moving. they’re in his pockets, then on the back of the seat in front of him, then in his pockets again and now they’re tapping on his leg. it’s making them all antsy.

“will you fucking stop?!” giovanni finally breaks the tense silence the three of them had built up.

elia puts his hands back in his pockets, looking sulky.

“martino will be fine,” giovanni says unprompted, “he can handle himself.”

elia seems to relax a little at this, but luca’s mind isn’t put a rest.

“what about niccolò?” luca’s voice is quiet but giovanni hears him. he looks a little confused, as if that was the last thing he expected to be asked. like niccolò hadn’t even crossed his mind. not that luca could blame him for that, but niccolò is all luca could think about since the bathroom with martino.

“niccolò can handle himself as well, luchino,” giovanni says, as if to placate luca.

“but can he handle this?”

giovanni takes some time to think about his answer. when he finally looks up to meet luca’s eyes, he says something that puts his mind at ease for the first time that night.

“i think, if they have each other, they could probably handle anything.”

luca knows he’s right, but he doesn’t think it’s fair that they have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! my tumblr is butforwardiscalling. come and say hey


	3. iii. filippo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next is filippo.
> 
> i wanted to do all of these as part of one long chapter but i still haven't finished the last part so i split it up. the last one is about mamma rametta and i have most of it done but i'm still working on the ending. if anyone has any interest on this work being continued with another character, just let me know and i'll probably do it. i love writing from all these different povs.
> 
> this chapter is quite short.

filippo kind of loves martino. sue him, but filippo found him endearingly awkward when they first met. ever since then, filippo has grown attached to him, sworn to protect him, as his mentor and friend. he’s even become fond of martino’s gorgeous and somewhat absentminded boyfriend. he’s harmless, is niccolò, filippo has found out, and he just adores martino.

niccolò is so obviously and achingly in love with martino that it almost hurts to look at him. his eyes shine, his eyebrows crease in a way similar to a person looking at a very cute, very small dog. he’s all sighs and smiles when martino’s around. of course, martino isn’t much better. when filippo met martino, it was at the peak of martino’s unhappiness, right before he came out of the closet, right before him and niccolò became a couple, so the change in martino had been jarring. to see him so happy, so in love, had made filippo’s heart just shine with pride. just to be in martino and niccolò’s presence sometimes felt almost holy, with how happy and content they are with each other.

filippo is aware of how cheesy that sounds, even in his own head.

but filippo grew up in rome. he knows how hard it is to be an out gay person there. so to be able to be around to two guys so in love with each other really feels like a privilege. for a straight person, it might be easy to miss, to overlook, but martino and niccolò are so openly in love, and very publicly sometimes. not in obvious ways, the ways that straight people take for granted, no, but instead in glances and little touches. the way the move around each other in public is very calming to watch, filippo thinks. it's almost like a dance. they seem to almost orbit each other, never quite touching, but always within reach, always in the other’s gravitational pull.

it might be hard for others to appreciate that, the simple beauty of how martino and niccolò express their love in public, how it’s almost an art, but filippo never misses it. 

-

of course, it’s a double-edged sword. the other side being the shaky sobs in-between which eleonora told filippo about what had happened the party. how edoardo had gotten into a fight with some boys, how they had hurt martino. filippo was not surprised, not really, when he thought about it later. in reality, something like this was bound to happen; someone was bound to see the overwhelming amount of love held in martino and niccolò’s eyes when they looked at each other, and take issue with it. this was not even the first time it had happened either; it happened before, at edoardo’s party; apparently, it was even the same boys. truly, it’s not surprising. if anything, filippo is surprised that it hadn’t happened sooner. but in the moment, over the phone, listening to eleonora gasp out what happened, filippo is shocked and sickened. his tears are more silent than eleonora’s.

these sorts of things are never fair, nor are they ever right, but they can also never be predicted. filippo knows this. but to have something happen when you are surrounded by your friends and schoolmates, it just doesn’t bear thinking about. filippo also knows that that’s a naive point of view, and that sometimes friends and schoolmates can be homophobes too, but there’s still a tiny sliver of optimism left inside him. he not much of an optimist these days, in truth. filippo used to always try to see the best in people, but more often than not, people let him down.

these days he’s more guarded with his trust, trying to trust only his friends, people he knows he can depend on, but that’s a lonely way to go through life. he knows martino still sees all the good in life, he knows that martino is a good person himself. as filippo drives to the club to pick up martino and eleonora, he finds himself silently hoping that this hasn’t crushed the optimism that still lives in martino. he hopes that martino can still find beauty in the world, even after this disgusting, ugly thing has happened to him.

-

martino doesn’t lift his eyes to meet filippo’s at all. not when filippo gets to the club, not when he leads martino away from the party to the car, not when martino gets out of the car at his mother’s apartment building. martino doesn’t even speak to say goodbye. he doesn’t reach to give filippo a hug, as he often does when they part ways. he just turns his back and walks away. the sight of his retreating back, hunched and defeated, almost broke filippo down into tears. eleonora had to shake him to get him back into the car.

life dealt him a shit hand tonight; filippo can only hope that martino doesn’t fold.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! this has been in my drafts for a long time and i finally got around to writing more in quarantine. my tumblr is butforwardiscalling if you want to say hi.


End file.
